Contractions

I'm on one. And you have NO IDEA how hard I tried to write this poem without contractions. Ehh, no go.

Contractions have become commonplace
We squeeze words together
Because watered down language
Is easier to manage
And watered down people
Must be easier to equal
Because at my full potency
You can't even come close to me

I'm guilty of contracting
I'm guilty of squeezing so I can fit
And I'm guilty of holding back
I'm guilty of wanting so bad
To just be part of the crowd
I forget that as a child of God
I was born to stand out

Contractions have become commonplace
You can take it from me
There's a beauty in the expanded word
We don't know how to see
And in the expanded person
You'll find a beauty the same
So contracting, as a person
I won't be guilty of again.

Broken Logic

You're not supposed to follow it, and if you do, there's cookies at the finish line, just for you (which wasn't supposed to rhyme, I do that all the time. Dammit, see? -stops talking).

I'm in a mood to write
I don't know what to say
It's like the same confusion
Moves me through every day
So I project the same illusion
A lie in every way
But I'm just so ashamed of losing
That I'm afraid to play

I don't expect you to understand broken logic
It's easier if you don't
Leaves me free to remain honest
I'm holding on to my hope
Don't know what I'd be if I lost it
But like sand through an hourglass
It gets closer and closer to gone
I forget why I'm holding on

And I'm such a monster
My fight with it is so constant
To you, I just seem awkward
That's cool

How would you look at me
If you could see the things I've done
Would you see the progression
What I've been to what I've become?
My mouth makes the wrong impression
I stay silent
You just think I'm dumb
And that's cool

Sometimes I'm inarticulate
I can't explain the things I'm trying to say
It hurts my mouth to speak sometimes
The pain gets in the way
I dance around the subjects
That make the monster upset
And you just think I'm scared
That's cool

But it's cruel at the same time
I'm at war with my own mind
And you can't see it.
Vulnerability makes me weak
So I can't be it
How can I help but to sometimes
Get mad at a world
That left me alone in the spotlight
Just a scared little girl
With all this emotion
And no place to hold it
And no way to control it
Where no words could console it
And nothing fills the hole

I guess all I'm asking for is time
Convoluted and trapped in the words of this rhyme
Is my heart
If I can't get it back from the page
It'll fall apart
The confusion that moves it
Is it's death
And without my hope and my heart
I'll have nothing left

Doomed to write about a sunrise
That I'll never see
Doomed to dream about a woman
That I'll never be
Doomed to follow broken logic
Down a dead end road
Shoulders heavy with emotion
That I can't control
A tortured soul

Superman

Let spectators be in love with the hero
I'm fascinated by the alter ego
Let them search to find the secret places we go
When our conversations slip, dip, and whisper
Let them strain their ears to listen
Let them learn to pay attention
There's a gold mine in your spirit
that I dig for
A richness in your essence
that I live for
And a safety in your presence
Thats there's nothing in the world
I wouldn't give for
Let them find it
They've forgotten
But they need to be reminded
That your power is nothing
Without the faith and grace behind it
The pain and stakes all raised without permission
The sacrifices made to fund the vision
All those who have betrayed, and you've forgiven
They shaped, and and paved your way, this life you're living
So let them see the superman you show them
S on your chest, wind in your cape, smile glowing
No matter what the world decides to see
You'll always be a superman to me.

Three people come to mind when I read this. All three of them have some of the hardest hustles I've seen, ever. They'll probably never read it, but if they were too, I'd hope it'd bring a smile, even just for a second.

-A.